A Closed Heart Can Be Opened by Blessings

Yesterday was an extraordinary day. I started out rough. I have this sick habit of thinking too much and analyzing too much that I think I brought my thoughts to sleep. It started out with a bad dream wihich I can't remember anymore. I literally woke up with a headache. I tried to relax, just to find myself even more stressed. I tried to work up a sweat only to find out that I couldn't breathe as well as before so I stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror in an effort to look for something to add on to myself that would make me a bit more aestheticlly decent. I find out that there is nothing that I can add on to myself to make me better. I was at the brink of depression when I always thought of myself as a happy person. 

Come the afternoon I was getting ready to go to the restaurant. I craved for some noodles to make me feel better because I suddenly got this addiction to Nak Muay's wanton noodles with sour cucumber sauce. I went around Robinsons Galleria where Dee picked me up. Found myself buying gifts, buying me a pair of tweezers because I lost mine. When I was finished, I saw my phone and it had several missed calls. I didn't hear it because my phone was on silent, I forgot to charge again. It's so not me.

Dee invited me to watch his basketball game. The invitation meant no wanton noodles for me at that time but it was what I needed, a change of environment so I was happy to go. The only live basketball game I ever watched was my brother's and that was when he was in grade school. It was a proud day. 

I thought I will be at the bleachers alone but I was glad I had someone to talk to, I wasn't the only girl watching, there were two of us, plus several stray cats, flying cockroaches and tambays trying to get a glimpse of the game. I had fun. There were so many bloopers with a bonus mini-series of this one tambay who was soooo relaxed with his game that I didn't even see his armpits the whole time because his moves were so little, and he smiled everytime the ball got in the net regardless if it was from his ally or his enemy. He managed to shoot some hoops while barefoot. At that time he just finished two cigarettes. He didn't even stop for a drink of water and he was never short of breath. I knew because I was watching him close out of curiosity and innocent humor. 

A part of me wanted to be like him. It seemed like he didn't care at all about the world. He just happened to be at the right place and time that's why he got the chance to play some basketball with new friends for free. He even got to know me because he asked me to keep his celphone. I was a perfect stranger and he trusted with the very gadget that connects him to the world. What an honor. I never knew I looked trustworthy.

The girl I was with asked me if I wanted to go buy some drinks and of course I gladly said yes. We went to the convenience store nearby, bought 5 bottles of mineral water, had a stick of isaw and went back. After a few hours, the girl from the store went to the basketball court and addressed me with this alarming line, "Miss nakalimutan mo ata yung wallet mo sa tindahan nakita nung mga manong". I asked, "Ate anong color?". She said, "black" and I exclaimed, "Akin nga yun! Thank you grabe!" We went to the store and the girl got my wallet for me, and the manongs who found it were there. I forgot how many thank you's I said but it was a happy moment. As I went back Dee was already on his way to meet me so he could scold me a bit. It feels good to have someone care about your wallet other than yourself even if it didn't have anything in it that was important besides my drivers license and some cards.

And so the game went on, stories were told between me and the girl and then the game was over and it was time to go home. After we brought two friends home, Dee asked me out to eat and you guessed it, he ordered wanton noodles when I never told him that I have been craving for it the whole day.

The moral of the story, wanton noodles are really good. Haha! Nah...the real moral is I guess yesterday I was so convinced that I was depressed, I'm going to have a bad day, I hate myself...blah blah blah. I wanted to shut myself from the rest of the world. But, with little blessings and brief moments filled with gratitude, I realize that there will always be hope for me because I am blessed and I couldn't be more grateful.

To be honest, I'm in the process of transition. I feel like a fresh grad who can't wait to get some rest from studying but day by day, I find myself craving for new adventures every second. It's such a yoyo ride that is very challenging. At times I feel excitement waiting to happen but most of the time, like yesterday, I just feel lousy. period. 

I'm a big dreamer in distress that is always saved by the smallest blessings.