Change is good...and it will be better until it becomes the best in time

(WARNING: This post might sound a bit concieted due to all the sentences that contain "ME","MYSELF" and "I")

I have always been a fickle-minded dreamer. Hence, my history of several jobs (I just resigned from my 6th job and I'm only 25 years old), my several encounters with different endeavors that I can't stay in, the different people and situations I meet, and many more. I always saw 25 years old as my boundary for living a stable life and now, I have roughly 3 months (my birthday is on October 1 *ahem* *ahem*)  before I get passed my boundary and still I haven't found that one thing that will keep me on steady ground.

I have been bugged with this thought for several years already. Setting goals for myself that I never reach. Writing on the first page of my journals as I end up forgetting them year after year.  I recently made a decision which was quite overdue, and I know that it was just one of the major steps in my journey to self-discovery.

I committed to clean my life of all the clutter.

I resigned from my job. I'm now on my 3rd week and I'm doing pretty well.

I needed the time. Now, I have collected and thrown all the things that I don't use anymore. I've thrown away the junk and saved those that can still be good for others. I will have a garage sale next week at Quezon City to pay my pre-loved stuff forward. I gave most of the toys (and I have a lot) that I had when I was a kid to Joseph who has 2 babies now. I've also placed my several chargers from the cellphones and gadgets that I've lost and abused in the recycle bins that they put in malls.

I detoxyfied myself from the computer. I had a laptop which I bring with me to bed so I end up sleeping while on facebook, forums, etc. until the wee hours of the evening. I upgraded an old CPU that I acquired from my previous office and I changed to a desktop computer so I will be forced to shut it off and go to bed earlier. Now I'm selling my laptop so I don't go back to that sick habit.

Now, I am able to have more moments with my friends and loved ones including our dogs and my fishes. I was even able to go to a major out of town trip with friends. This gave me the chance to be totally honest with them since I was holding back some negative feelings towards them ever since. My friends, being the best that they are, accepted me for who I am and what I felt. I rid myself of all my uncomfortable feelings and now I can say I am very lucky to have true and real people in my life. I'm blessed to find out that most of them have been with me since the time we were making mistakes until now that we are learning from them.

Just yesterday, I was able to have real quality time with my partner. We went to divisoria, cartimar and had Kowloon House siopao. It was the simplest yet most enjoyable date we've had together in months! I was even able to spot an albino flowerhorn which I now have in my very clean acquarium which I haven't been able to clean on a regular basis. We are now planning to have a date at the National Museum that is only open on weekdays.

I now have time to exercise. I have been so sloppy and so tired but now I can say I have enough energy and my regular colds haven't visited me in days even if the weather keeps on changing. I also have several scars on my body due to insect bites and other unfortunate accidents and now I can regularly put proper medication on them. I can't wait to reach the point where I have cleansed my body in and out and just leave the essential microorganisms and necessary elements behind. It's not about being thin and scar-free anymore. It's about being healthy. Plus, I can finally have time to get rid of my wisdom tooth, BUT I still have to find courage to do so because it will be my first time to have my tooth extracted by a dentist.

My commitment to de-clutter my life also made me more careful about what I bring in. I've noticed my changed habit in buying stuff. Since I found so many paper bags and plastic bags in my room, I now bring an extra big bag with me and put the stuff that I buy in it. I've also noticed how I've awakened my sleeping passion to read. When I go out I find myself in bookstores more often. It has also replaced my laptop because now, I read to make myself fall asleep. 

As I de-clutter my life, I can now say that I'm starting to figure out what I love. I commit to seeking new adventures everyday. (Like this contest that I'm joining now , Commit to Change, and this online banner making contest since I've been spending so much time online and on Photoshop). In the past I've had several lessons and seminars: keyboard lessons, painting lessons, jiujitsu classes, boxing classes, chocolate making classes, and many more. Now, I would love to have swimming lessons, wushu classes, saxophone lessons, ice cream making classes, basic sewing lectures, and hopefully when the time comes, I'd be able to get that great idea for me to work on that would help me enjoy the present and prepare for my future.

Yet, with all my efforts of riding my life of all the unnecessary things, one thing that I should try to get rid of is what I've written in the first paragraph. Life should have no boundaries. No age limit. No weight limit. Nothing to stop you. Nothing to hold you back. Pressure is good sometimes, especially if it is directed towards a positive and highly contributing goal.

Commitments exist to keep us motivated. Change exists to keep us truly alive.

When I commit to change, I commit to live motivated... that's the only way I can put it.